Murphy Laus linguae latinae

I wish I would of gone to parochial school.
Sure, they would of beat me; but at least I’d learn Latin. Where I did go -- orphanage, then reform -- they beat me anyway, but no Latin -- just Metal Shop. What run out of metal.

Latin is a language where good things happen.


Cos like in English, or Spanish, or whatever -- half the sentences are like: F*ck you, m*therf*cker; or S*ck my d*ck; or, You want fries w*th th*t??!!! But in Latin, you can’t say those things -- just no words for that stuff. Instead, they say things like:

Credo in unum Deum.

Ave, Maria, Gratia plena.

Et cum spiritu tuo.

Now -- you might think, one tongue’s as good as another. Table/mesa, pencil/lápiz -- same difference. But it's not so simple. Take that last one -- Et cum spiritu tuo. Meaning? What they came up with, was:

“And also with you.”

Now that’s like --
“Yeh, you too.”
“Yeh well -- be seein’ ya. Let’s do lunch.”
“Yeh, lunch sometime.”
“Mmm, lunch -- someday.”
“Like -- never … “
Meaning: If you die, it will not affect my schedule in the least.


Latin isn’t like that.
And so I say -- with a pronunciation that sucks but them’s the breaks --

Avē Marīa, grātiā plēna, Dominus tēcum. Benedicta tū in mulieribus, et benedictus frūctus ventris tuī …